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We cannot control people’s actions and words. Oftentimes, those same people don’t even realize the impact their actions have on others.
What we can do is learn strategies that will help us react in a way we feel proud of ourselves. Part of the solution is focusing on self-improvement and not on improving others.
Tune in and listen to one of the best things you can do to refocus and regain emotional control when you feel disrespect and d-valued.
COMPLETE TRANSCRIPT IN ACCORDION
This past Sunday, I didn’t work on my side hustle gig as I usually do. I was feeling good about that and excited to get some items crossed of my to-do list. I had gone to bed at 3:30 am. Yes, my weekends working on these side jobs are often brutal. Yet, they are paying debt and keeping that type of stress down. And that is what matters.
I don’t know about you but I LOVE LOVE LOVE when I can go to bed without my alarm set to ring in the morning. I woke up about 10am without an alarm and felt it was OK to get up and go on with my day.
Saw the sun was shining and that always excites me. The forecast said we were to going to hit the 70s around 4 pm. I pinned that time down for my exercise and moved on to plan my day around it.
It was around 10:45 am when I received a phone notification for a group text regarding a new project, I am part of. Every communication coming from that source is work-related and it has been a bit stressful since it’s a new ‘thing’.
When I heard the beep, my ‘gut’ spoke to me “Maria, don’t open it. Don’t read it. It’s Sunday. You need to do your thing today. Don’t get distracted.”
Well, I let my strong work ethic take over and ignored my gut, and read the messages. I went from peace to anger in just a couple of minutes. I was so freaking upset. Do you know when you curse out loud hoping that things will get better? I dropped a few f* bombs out loud in my sunroom. Nobody but me could hear them.
For the next hour, the more messages were exchanged, the angrier I become. More of my time was being wasted. Most importantly, my stress levels were to the roof now.
Why was I so upset?
I felt disrespected and d-valued. Indirectly I was told to suck it up and re-work it. Oh, did I say that these tasks were already outside the scope of the original project? That is, there was no compensation for time and effort except the fact I was helping the project to move on.
Time is money. This concept became exponentially bigger when I became an entrepreneur. I don’t remember attaching much value to my time when I worked in Corporate as a salaried employee.
I realized that unless I pushed a RESET button very quickly, I would have a hard time letting this go.
I thought about strategies, the same ones I recommend my clients to apply to unwind. Things like breathing, meditation, essential oils, taking a bath or warm shower, journaling, do activities that bring joy, and exercise.
I went through that list, one by one. None of the techniques spoke healing to me until I got to exercise—the best free pill yet in existence.
So, in “desperation” to reset my day, mood, anxiety, perspective, and not allow this series of stuff to ZAP my energy for the ENTIRE DAY, I needed to MOVE MY FANNY now and not later in the day. I needed to blow up some steam.
I also knew that a walk was NOT going to it. I also felt like a run or any cardio by itself wasn’t going to be very effective. I needed to engage my brain in a deeper level.
When the stress levels are super high, we need to step it up a notch.
I needed to combine weights and cardio. I needed to be vigorous in some way, little to no break between sets. It needed to be long enough so my brain could detach from negative emotions, enjoy the fresh jolt of endorphins, dopamine, and serotonin that intense movement offers, refocus, and give me a fresh new start.
So here I built a routine that lasted 47:43 minutes:
1 mile run
20 rounds:
5 pull-ups (assisted) for a total of 100 reps.
10 DB back rows 20#/arm for a total of 200 reps.
15 squats for a total of 300 reps.
1 mile run
Here is an interesting thing that happened. It took 12-15 minutes for me to let it go. I was in the middle of pull-ups and had a quick chat with myself.
“Why are you still thinking about this? You gotta let it go, Maria? Enough. Maria, there is a reason for all this to have happened. Trust the Universe is doing its thing. Don’t fight it but still do your part. Let it go.”
My friend, that was it. I left it go right there. I was able to focus on sweating tension off. Cheers to movement and mindset! Sometimes, we just need to have a conversation with ourselves.
Here is another thing.
I refuse to let others mess up my day. I get upset with myself if/when I allow that to happen.
Sometimes, these people who cause harm don’t even know how their words and actions are affecting others. They are unaware the consequences of their words and actions.
It is MY responsibility to take charge of my reactions during and post circumstances that are not favorable to me in any shape of form.
It is MY responsibility to manage my reaction so I don’t blow up the situation our of proportions, regret my words and actions, damage relationships, and so much more that is attached to losing our minds.
It’s MY responsibility to do whatever it takes to distress, unwind, and regain control of my emotions. This is part of being a responsibility Chief Health Officer I continue to invite you to become.
I am not saying this is easy. I know that very well. I have come LONG WAYS from a decade ago. The self-improvement process requires hard work.
When things are not doing so well, move my friend. Move with intentionality. Get your heart rate up, engage your muscles, and raise the intensity to the point you must be present with your body!!
I’d like to share one more thing with you.
I subscribe to receive daily emails titled ‘The Notes From The Universe’ – go to www.tut.com to learn more about it. These exact words were in my inbox on Monday morning:
“Looking for the gift in a situation, Maria, typically means there’s a belief that the situation’s outcome could have been better.
And thinking that an outcome could have been better, only happens when there’s a belief that one’s joy could have been greater had there been a different outcome.
And thinking that one’s joy hinges on the outcome of any time-space occurrence, almost always means that some cool cat somewhere, has ever so briefly forgotten not to interpret events with their physical senses alone, that all the elements (then and now) are lining up in their favor, and that their own happy feet need not have missed a beat.
Bust a move –
The Universe”
Well, well…this is a great reminder that behind any curveball there is a silver lining. It’s about taking time to learn from experiences and doing our best to achieve better outcomes next time. It’s also about focusing on self-improvement and not on improving someone else.
My friend, we cannot get rid of stress, we cannot control other people’s actions. What we can do is learn [and apply] strategies that will help up react to it in a way we feel proud of our actions.
I haven’t met a single person who hasn’t lost their temper and said things they regretted it. Nobody is immune to losing their temper and hurting people along the way.
A few questions to ask are…
How often does it happen? Am I aware of the devastation it causes? Am I open to get to the root cause of the behavior? Am I willing to change for the better? Am I willing to do the work to change?
Am I willing to ask the hard questions? Am I willing to have hard conversations? Am I willing to be inconvenienced?
The awesome news is that we can ALL change.
It’s a matter of how badly ad important it is to us to change and achieve different results in the future?
In the meantime, whenever you feel stressed out, give exercise to chance to help you transform your physical, mental, and emotional wellbeing.
Of course, I am here to help you. Book a call at www.BeFabBeYou.com. Let’s get you to embrace a different level of awesomeness. Be ready to go.
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MEDICAL DISCLAIMER: This podcast is for educational purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional care by a doctor or other qualified medical professional and is provided on the understanding that it does not constitute medical or other professional advice or services.