#29: Making Peace With Fear to Ignite Change In You

#29: Making Peace With Fear to Ignite Change In You



Welcome back to the Be Fab – Be You Made Simple Podcast

A listener to the show sent me a thoughtful and kind suggestion after he listened to episode 28–if you haven’t listened to that, I suggest you do so. Today’s will make more sense.

I’ve decided to take a detour to my original plan for today’s episode. I’ll do that just because I can. LOVE IT!

That said, I will share his suggestion with you because I think it’s relevant and helpful. The listener suggested if I was worried about falling alone, I can get an Apple Watch. I can set up automatic fall detection that will call 911, share my location, and notify my emergency contacts if it detects a hard fall.

That’s pretty cool. If you are a fan of Apple products, this could be a product to own.

When I read the listener’s comments, immediately, I thought to myself…Did I come across that I live in fear of aging alone, lonely, sad, and that physical weakness or even immobility?

Let’s talk about this because I want you to age confident about the direction you are leading your life. I want you to do your best to age physically and cognitively healthy. Feel good and stay activity until it’s time for you to departure this life. I want that for myself. I bet that you want some of that too, don’t you?


Fear is part of life and necessary for survival. Establishing a goal to eliminate fear, worry, and anxiety is not realistic. What I find realistic is to establish habits that will allow us to build resilience and be able to react to life curveballs with a better outlook and control.

This is part of being the CHO or Chief Health Officer, of our lives. Click HERE to listen to the episode about being your CHO.

By nature, I am a problem solver. That’s what I also did during my corporate years and it’s a big part of what I do now as a health coach and personal trainer. I love being able to take in information, break down situations into small pieces, reflect on pros and cons, take a deep dive into the root cause of the problem, help someone identify the problem themselves, establish a plan of action, and executive. And when I am part of the execution plans and progress is made, I get a great sense of satisfaction.

As a problem solver, I am more of a doer than a talker. I love being part of the solution. Sitting in a situation, especially if it brings me to fear, worry, anxiety, uncertainty, and doubts is not something I do well. I get more anxious by the minute I do nothing about it. And if I let that go on for a while, I freeze and paralyze and make poor decisions or no decisions at all.

Action is an antidote to fear!!! That couldn’t be truer and more applicable to me. I bet that you feel similar. If you are not sure, think about it every time you overcame obstacles in your life. It wasn’t by watching time go by. Instead, you made decisions, took action, and moved on!


So, if you listened carefully, you may have noticed that I went into ACTION after I ‘freaked out’. I went in self-evaluation mode, search mode, applying mode, learning mode, lots of modes. The end result was…I changed my lifestyle, health, and eventually career 180 degrees.

Next episode, I will return to the discussion seed I planted and share more about my battle with sugar addiction and how my training in insulin resistance and nutritional endocrinology changed my life forever and have the ability to change the lives of millions, including yours.

Ok, there is one more thing I’d like to share. It’s a piece from one of my favorite books, ‘Big Magic’ by Elizabeth Gilbert. This is part of a chapter in which Liz Gilbert shares how she handles fear. I CANNOT TELL YOU HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS!

Here it goes, in her words:

“Fear and creativity shared a womb. They were born at the same time and they still share some vital organs. This is why we have to be careful of how we handle our fear, because I’ve noticed that when people try to kill off their fear, they often end up murdering their creativity in the process. So I don’t try to kill off my fear. I don’t go to war against it.

Instead, I make all that space for it, heaps of space, every single day. I’m making space for fear right this moment, I allow my fear to live and breathe and stretch out its legs comfortably. It seems to me that the less I fight my fear, the less it fights back. If I can relax fear relaxes too, in fact, I cordially invite fear to come along with me everywhere I go.

I even have a welcoming speech prepared for fear, which I deliver right before embarking on any new project or big adventure. It goes something like this.

Dearest fear,

Creativity and I are about to go on a road trip together. I understand you’ll be joining us because you always do. I acknowledge that you believe you have an important job to do in my life and that you take your job seriously.

Apparently, your job is to induce complete panic, whenever I’m about to do anything interesting. And may I say you are superb at your job. So by all means, keep doing your job. If you feel you must, but I will also be doing my job on this road trip, which is to work hard and stay focused and creativity will be doing its job which is to remain stimulating and inspiring.

There’s plenty of room in this vehicle for all of us so make yourself at home. But understand this creativity and I are the only ones who will be making any decisions along the way. I recognize and respect that you are part of this family so I will never exclude you from our activities, but still, your suggestions will never be followed.

You’re allowed to have a seat, and you’re allowed to have a voice, but you are not allowed to have a vote. You’re not allowed to touch the roadmaps, you’re not allowed to suggest detours, you’re not allowed to fiddle with the temperature. Dude, you are not even allowed to touch the radio, but above all else, my dear old familiar friend. You’re absolutely forbidden to drive.

Then we head off together. Me and creativity and fear, side by side by side forever. Advancing once more into the terrifying but marvelous terrain of unknown outcome.”

So, my questions to you are….

  1. What are you fearful of?
  2. What brings you anxiety and worry?
  3. What are your triggers?

Grab your wellness journal and write!

Give yourself permission to feel and don’t hide your emotions. That’s your starting point.

Remember that whenever you are ready to take your health to next level, I am here for you. Book a call HERE and let’s talk about your goals, concerns, and ways we will get you going in a better direction.

Thanks for listening and talk to you soon.

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